I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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