I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
