I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
