What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
