I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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