The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
