508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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