I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
