We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
