"it" just moved
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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