I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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