When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
