I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
