i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
