hotel room ftw
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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