I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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