im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
