hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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