Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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