Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
