I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
