I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
