Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My ass is underappreciated
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
