Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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