actually, I'm a sock model
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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