Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
