dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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