Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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