The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
