Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
