I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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