your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
