pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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