you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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