I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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