you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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