My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
