I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
