And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
