at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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