I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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