community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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