You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
