i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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