oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
