I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
pray to the hookup gods
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
