If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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