Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
