I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
