i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
