i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
